Charlie Sheen Talking Snake Rantscript
Alex: Welcome to the 7th Over-drive hour with Charlie Sheen, my guest today. Charlie is revving to get rid of the New World Order with us. Right Charlie?
Charlie: Yeah, I beat them with my little perfect right pinky toe, even when it’s asleep in the crystal beaches of the Bahamas, drunk on Pina Coladas.
Alex:… uh… haAAAH uh HAHAAH HAAAAH.
Charlie: I am sucha winner, can drink all the Pina Coladas I want, take a bath in it, shower in it, even swim in it, even have my own pool and pool dive in it, I can even make it rain Pina Coladas on your ugly little children and troll wives. Trooolls, hole-trolls, living in troll-holls.
Alex: Wow. Wow. Wow I am really amazed at you today Charlie. I mean you are waxing poetic today man, all charged up.
Nails: Hahahah. Haaaheeeehaaaaah uhaaah, uhaaah haaaaaah haaaaaaah.
Alex: So what do you think of Charlie at the moment Nails?
Nails: Oh Alex… Alex, well, I mean Charlie is Charlie you know, he’s gotta be him, Charlie.
Alex: Yeah and he is powerful right now (Alex whispers to himself: Thank you God for this blessing please may Charlie say more crazy stuff but not so crazy that he ruins my political ministry please God please). So Nails, can you tell us a little more?
Nails: Haaah. Well man, I mean I’m notta brown noser but, I mean I’ve known Charlie all my life and he’s just a super kind guy, really generous and helpful, teaches me stuff I want to know and don’t know that I need to know.
Charlie: Indeeeed. Vanity cards. Trolls. Troll cards.
Nails: Uh, uhaaaaaaah, haaaaaaahaaaaaaah uhaaaaah. So uh Charlie you were doing awesome in the baseball field today. Man oh’ man you were lookin’ good.
Charlie: Yeah, shouldn’t have been using my arm though you know. I mean even though I have the blood of Adonis in me, I messed it up pretty bad, but it’s okay, I have super healing powers supreme, and thanks to my pron goddesses.
Alex: Uh haaaaah haaah haaah, haaah haah. Whew wow.
Nails: Haaah haaah haaaah. Man oh’ Charlie.
Alex: So Charlie is it true about, you know, I mean are you gonna be offended if I bring up sensitive stuff?
Charlie: Well I’m not a sensitive guy anymore, I am hardcore filled with lead and bullets, I have vatican assassins and warlocks coming out my fingertips, I’m warlock warlock-killer.
Alex: Haah haaah whew man. Oh kay, so, is it true you’re going to start a porn family and if so can I been in it?
Charlie: Hah, Alex, you know there’s some stupid rumors out there and I gotta say nunna bisnissa your ugly troll missa. But for you Alex my buddy if you lose some of that major fat stickin all over those bulldog bones of yours…
Alex: Woah there. I love you Charlie.
Charlie: …I’ll love you violently. Aaaahhhhh. YeeeEP.
Nails: Uh, haaaaah, uh haaah haaaaaaaaaaah haaaaaaah haah haaaah. Man.
Alex: Uh. Uhah, uhaaah haaah haaah. I was just kidding man I have a family, wife and kids.
Charlie: Fpppt, marraaaige, marraaaaige, famlyyyy, lah lolz.
Alex: So, lets, talk, abouuut, 9, 11. You asked Obama some pertinent questions and man you put him on the spot.
Charlie: Yeah, got that coward, but moving on that’s so in the past. The trolls who want Obama to sit on them and every other stupid loser, they get what they deserve.
Charlie: All those Bible-grippers to busy wantin’ what you’re man over here has, high in the sky with oh so hot pieces of pie.
Nails: Uh haaaaah, haaaaaaaaaaaah.
Alex: Wow Charlie you are really something today.
Charlie: Always have been my man it was just that stupid AA cult suppressing all that beautiful me inside, rotting me, but just before I was totally rotten and snuffed out, I exploded into the god that I am.
Alex: Well. Well I have to say that you are, you are back on track man (omg my ratings are going through the roof yes!).
Charlie: And all those Bible grippers are dying over it, coming at me with all their nasty rusty dagger opinions and judgment, all because they aren’t me and don’t got what I got. The troooolls.
Alex: Well I have to go to commercial break now so if you Charlie Sheen and Nails want to stay on for an 8th hour please do, we’re goin’ into over drive people, hour 8 LOCK YOURSELVES IN! WOOO HOOO! (slaps hands together and rubs them happily).
If you haven’t heard the real interview, this is really close to what was actually said. If you want to hear what was really said, go here: http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/6200203/Alex_Jones_Show_-_2011_Feb_24_TH_[sebaygo1]