A Phone Call From Pastor Lindsey Williams…

2 A.M., Knight gets a phone call from “pastor” Lindsey Williams …

Knight: Hello (with a very tired voice).

Lindsey Williams (Willams): Daniel.

Knight: What.

Lindsey: Daniel, are ya’ listenin’?

Knight: (Mumbles: for God’s sake). Hello.

Lindsey: Daniel, I’m beggin’ yah, please, give me your ear.

Knight: Lindsey, can you not hear me.

Lindsey: Daniel get out your pencil and paper, you must write this down please.

Knight: Just tell me what you have to say already, I’m tired and…

Lindsey: Please I’m begging you, I’m pleading with you, please, get a pen and piece of paper.

Knight: I have a brain Lindsey, I can memorize things, unless it’s as long as this intro I don’t need a pen, pencil, engraving tool, clay tablet, or paper, or voice record, just tell me.

Lindsey: Ok, aah, there is terrible news. Areya prepared? I’m pleading and begging that you listen to this…

Knight: Lindsey can you stop begging me to listen, I’m already listening you don’t need to keep asking me over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over…

Lindsey: the Muslim brotherhood…

Knight: Yes?

Lindsey: the Muslim brotherhood…

Knight: I heard you the first time Lindsey.

Lindsey: the Muslim brotherhood…

Knight: (Mumbles: omgigod grrrrr).

Lindsey: begin you to listen…

Knight: Hello. Are you a bot?

Lindsey: Saudi Arabia is scheduled for a day of rage.

Knight: I’m about to schedule some rage right now and explode in two seconds if you don’t explain why you called me at 2 AM in the morning, only to tell me some people 2000 miles away planned on getting mad one day.

Lindsey: Daniel, the U.S. Dolla…

Knight: I hate it when you say that, can’t say, “Dollar” like a normal human being? It’s like, like soup is dripping out of your mouth when you say that.

Lindsey: Daniel this is serious, the U.S. Dolla is going to listen over 49% of its value next year, as planned by the elitists.

Knight: And.

Lindsey: I am beggin’ yah,

Knight: I know Lindsey you’re always beggin’ me.

Lindsey: Pleadin’ with yah.

Knight: I’m chatting with a really hot girl right now, thanks for waking me up.

Lindsey: Daniel America is going to be devestated don’t you understand? (Laughs).

Knight: What’s so funny? Devestation is funny?

Lindsey: It’s not funny at all that’s why I’m laughing.

Knight: What? the…

Lindsey: Daniel, you need to buy silver, or better yet, gold. I’m tellin’ ya the elitists are coming afer the dolla with fury, they are out to destroy the middle class.

Knight: Lindsey everyone already knows this, do you have anything new to tell me, and like, not at 2 AM in the morning?

Lindsey: You’ve got to read what I’m saying between the lines right now, I’m just a little peon listening to these evil, evil things, about elitists wanting to destroy the American dream…

Knight: Lindsey I’m a Christian, I don’t have an “American Deam” damnit, I have Christian dream: be happy, find some hotties, have some babies, find a nice house or live a travellers life style, save a lot of people while having some fun now and then, and die peacefully, or wait for Jesus to come back before I die. Okay? You’re supposed to know this as a Christian.

Lindsey: Daniel, okay, first of all: I am Christian. Now, you concern me: You think you can save people? Are yah serious?

Knight: Yes Lindsey I’ve done it before it’s nothing new, Christians do it all the time.

Lindsey: Daniel, do you understand what and who Jesus is, that he is the saviour?

Knight: Lindsey, can you not take me out of context? What’s next: you’re going to tell doctors they can’t save any lives and that they’re blasphemying everytime they say they’ve saved someone’s life? Stop being contentious.

Lindsey: Daniel, I was just expressing my concern as a fellow Christian.

Knight: (Sighs angrily).

Lindsey: Are yah there Daniel? Because I’m pleadin’ n’ beggin’ with ya, you need to prepare for an economic collapse.

Knight: Daniel, I mean Lindsey, I’m begging and pleading with you to understand this: I’m not middle class or rich class or super rich class, I’m like, sub-middle standard class, at the moment, and, I have to survive, I don’t have money for silver and stuff like that, I have to make a living and not die okay?

Lindsey: Well you can tell your neighbor, warn your friends, tell them about prophecyclub.com.

Knight: Lindsey I checked that site out and it’s ridiculous. I can’t even find your name on that ugly thing it’s got instead this husband and wife looking couple and she’s sitting up against the guy’s crotch, I mean what is that? Pictures like that aren’t even professional non-Christian sites, I mean, lots of them are free of that stuff. What’s that about? Why are so many Christians rubbing up against each other in public and lying all over each other and rubbing each other in the pews in front of people and kissing, it’s gross man. I don’t want to see ugly people rubbing and kissing in church or even hot people, it’s church! Gross.

Lindsey: Daniel, that’s silly. No one is sitting against crotches.

Knight: Lindsey, I don’t have time for this. Spill the beans already, or are you insane?

Lindsey: Okay, are you ready.

Knight: Hanging up…

Lindsey: No don’t do that. Don’t. Okay, I am so sorry to tell you this: There is a group of Muslims, now mark your calenda,

Knight: “Calender” Lindsey, not “Calenda”.

Lindsey: Daniel it’s my accent, I grew up with it, it’s just an accent.

Knight: An annoying accent.

Lindsey: Well I’m sorry that it annoys you.

Knight: Muslims were what Lindsey.

Lindsey: What?

Knight: (Sighs.) Lindsey my neck is hurting and I want to lie down.

Lindsey: Well I’m not stopping you from doing that.

Knight: Lindsey would you stop with the damn delays and get on with it already!

Lindsey: The Muslims, they were chanting, so terrible, they said, in their Egyptian language, and I am really sorry to tell you this, as a chaplin of the elitists in the Alaskan oil fields for three years I am so sorry to tell you this…

Knight: You make me wanna kill myself.

Lindsey: Daniel! Never say anything like that!

Knight: I love strawberries.

Lindsey: Yes, I’m partial to them to. But anyways, the Muslims, Muslim Brotherhood.

Knight: How do you know it’s the Muslim Brotherhood and not just some random Muslims?

Lindsey: Well Daniel if you’d stop talking and let me finish.

Knight: How rude.

Lindsey: I’m trying to tell you something, but it doesn’t seem like you care.

Knight: Do I have to call Charlie Sheen’s Warlock Vatican Assassins on you?

Lindsey: Whahawt?

Knight: Grrrr.

Lindsey: Okay: On Youtube, in thar own language, Egyptian…

Knight: Egyptian Arabic most likey Lindsey, or do you mean heiroglyphs, were they holding up protesting signs with heiroglpyhs.

Lindsey: No. I don’t think so.
Knight: (blows air out his mouth in frustration).

Lindsey: Well now hear’s the awesome part, which I can tell you if you’d stop and hear me out for a moment.

Knight: (silent).

Lindsey: They were chanting: “We are coming for Jerusalem, we are marching there.”

Knight: That, that is what you wanted me to mark on my calendar? I don’t even use paper calendars, can’t afford them, no thanks to the bankers and thousands of other time-wasting sabateours I’ve come across in life.

Lindsey: I’m sorry for that Daniel. I can send you a calendar if you’d like.

Knight: No thanks. You could buy stuff from my store at http://bit.ly/truthstore though, I’d appreciate that.

Lindsey: Well, I’m short on money too underfortunately, but if I see something I like, and I can afford it, I’ll certainly try to buy it.

Knight: Thanks.

Lindsey: Your welcome sir.

Knight: Lindsey, why are you making a big deal of the Muslims being enraged over Jerusalem when they’re always mad at Jews and when the Bible says they’re not going to get their hands on it anytime soon, at this time at least. You really anger me man.

Lindsey: Well, it’s good to know so that you’re prepared.

Knight: Prepared how? I’m in the U.S.A. not Jerusalem. Go warn the Jews, and like they need any? They have missiles fired at them all the time. Why don’t you spend your time preaching the gospel to Muslims and Jews?

Lindsey: Well, I do preach, I preach to whoever will hear me.

Knight: Lindsey no offense but your preaching, what I’ve seen from it so far, is shamefully weak. That prophecyclub site, it’s a bunch of scaremongering cliche videos, silly talk, and your statement of faith is a generic universalist-like statement, something a con-artist would put up if he didn’t want to offend that many people. You’re not a huxter are you? Lindsey?

Lindsey: Hah. Are yah kiddin’ me? Me, uh huxta?

Knight: Well I’m goin’ man bcuz, gotta sleep so I can read significant helpful news that isn’t vague and repeatative, and useful.

Lindsey: I do the best I can Daniel.

Knight: Stop repeating yourself man, it’s annyoing. Bye.

Lindsey: Well, sorry to annoy you Daniel, but I really don’t mean to annoy you. It’s just that oil is so important to America’s economy, and you’re in America my friend, and really, important to the whole world’s economy.

Knight: Lindsey, God is important to the whole world’s economy. Why don’t you focus your minstry and teaching people how to be saved instead of having them obsess on dollars and oil? The Bible already warns people not to store up riches but to share what they have, and to be happy even when poor and thank and sing to God while they are poor. It already says times will be terrible and worse than in the days of Noah. You’re not even preaching 2000+ year old news, which, ironically, are prophecies, and yet you call “your” website “prophecy club”. Instead your preaching the predictions of some supposed elitists based on your testimony alone. Also, who doesn’t know already to look to other energy sources and to not put their eggs all in one basket? Only ignorant people who hardly know God if at all. Shouldn’t you listen to Jesus who said to “first seek the kingdom and his righteousness, then all these things will be added to you”, but instead you focus on, without even bringing up the words before that verse, the things of the world that Jesus said not to worry about. And you try very hard to get them to worry about it. Jesus said not to worry Lindsey, and yet you’ve made yourself, for how many years now, 15?, a preacher of worry.

Lindsey: Oh, not at all. Look.

Knight: Lindsey I’ve patiently looked and listened, looked at your website, and listened to you repeat yourself over and over to the point where I want to die. Preach hope, the hope that God offers, not just doom, like a Muslim.

Lindsey: Now wait just a minute young man! The elitists…

Knight: are out to get me. Satan is worse. (Hangs up)

This wasn’t a real transcript, but it is reality-based fiction, except for the part about Lindsey being contentious over the word “saved”. I don’t know if he would be contentious like that. I hope not. I hope you get the point of this imaginary phone conversation. Lindsey reminds me of psychics who make vague claims hoping to score a hit. For those of you who are wondering if Lindsey is mentally ill: I don’t know. If Lindsey had a a reputation for being truthful, a good reputation that wasn’t “short”, then I’d say he is worth listening to. You really don’t need to listen to the warnings he makes about elitists plotting to destroy us, because they are always trying to destroy us. Unless you are are rich, or very rich, or planning on making your riches in the oil and gas industry or by currency trading, Lindsey warnings are not that important. It’s also obvious to not store a great amount of wealth in only one thing, like silver, gold, eggs, dollars or whatever, but you don’t need someone saying, “2012 dolla death” to let you know that. You simply need to be told why it matters, and if not convinced, to be shown what happens to people who don’t listen to such a warning.

Imagine if you had to keep going to some place to convert your gold into cash just to buy some food or get a drink for a month or years: It would get pretty exhausting and you’d lose time, money, physical energy and gas (if you used such things). Unless it’s really necessary to stay away from paper and cheap metal currency, then that isn’t how you should live, as it isn’t efficient. Also, consider this: The Bible says that the children of Esau would live miserably and implies that there would be enmity between Israel’s children Esau’s, with verses like these: “Behold, away from the fatness of the earth shall your dwelling be, and away from the dew of heaven on high. By your sword you shall live, and you shall serve your brother; but when you grow restless you shall break his yoke from your neck.”, so, this “the Middle East could erupt in war any time now” isn’t anything new. Any isn’t everyone getting enough warning and heads up from the peak oil warning prophets of doom and solar energy promoters and Peswiki? Really: you can gauge when their might be a rebellion in the Middle East by learning about the level of poverty in that country, their education level, their religious beliefs, and history. Of course the rich oppress people in general, as the Bible says, and if you have to deal with them or make your living dealing with them, then keep an eye on them of course. Further, there is already a book out called “The Oil Card” which already shows that oil giants and the U.S. Government and Britain and others, manipulate oil prices as a form of economic battle. Lindsey says that in 2012 that elitists plan on trying to get the U.S. dollar will lose half it’s value, thanks for the warning, but how many times do we have to hear it? And what really more is there to say then, “I’ve been a pastor for a long time, my name is Lindsey Williams, some elitists told me they plan on causing trouble in the Mideast to make the price of oil go high and to devalue the dollar.” And? What are the majority of people in the world: poor people, that includes Americans, Britons and Germans, supposed to do about it? Should we all demand from out employers to be paid in silver coins or nuggets, jewels, rare sea shells or blocks of salt only? The best advice is: don’t worry, get saved, love your neighbor as yourself, do to others as you would have them do to you, work to make money, find a husband or wife if you need to, adopt an orphan if they aren’t mentally ill if you can afford it, make sure you take care of your family if you have one and to help your relatives with food, shelter or money if they really need your help and aren’t going to misuse your help to do evil, buy what you need to survive, and if you need to, to live at peace with God, and to be ready for the return of Christ, because he will return like a thief in the night.

Bob Chapman did an analysis of some of the things Lindsey has warned about, but I didn’t read it carefully yet, and don’t think I will. I don’t have enough money to care. I might have more money if any of you helped out and bought books through this link: http://truthshop.tk

Author: Optimix

This is the gospel, that Christ Yeshua was crucified for sinners as I have been. I was saved and went astray and Yeshua lead me back.

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