Archive for July, 2013

Do Not Judge: The Real America

Movie script for “Do Not Judge, Vengeance is Mine”:

This is your country, this is your country on Monopoly money bankers and psychopaths:

Little daughter: Daddy, why are you in jail?

Daddy: The policeman that wants to be with you called me a pedophile to keep me from protecting you. I’m always alone now.

Little daughter: But why don’t you just leave?

Daddy: They want lots of money baby, $5000.

Little daughter: But daddy you said we can’t afford anymore bills.

Daddy: I know baby, so I have to wait longer, just be patient.

Little daughter: But daddy the cps people said I’m leaving tomorrow with them and the officer who protectsted me.

Daddy: *In shock*

Little daughter: What’s wrong daddy?

Daddy: *lowers head and is silent, tries not to cry*

Little daughter: Daddy I’m scared, can you sneak out? *Begins to get red eyed* Daddy, say something.

Mom: Our food stamps are almost out, they refuse to let me keep her. I don’t know what to do, the ACLU said they can’t help us because they’re case load is full and every lawyer wants thousands of dollars. *begins to cry*. The police impounded our car and tore our licenses up. I can’t believe they put you away because of what one officer with a bad record said. Why won’t anyone help us?

Date: 2014, 40% of the American population is in prison. 15% are held in “Peace Restraining” camps for being “a danger to society”, “a perpetual nuisance to the peace” or for being “emotional disturbances.” Welcome to the United States of America.

The next day, at the New Las Vegas Prison…

Officer Maguiriua: Hey, ‘daddy’. I’m enjoying protecting your daughter from you. The neighbors all say you’re a bad man, you are aren’t you? Admit it? Why are you neighbors on my side unless you were a bad man?

Dad: Why are you doing this to me?

Officer Maguiriua: You’ll figure it out.

Dad: Wait, please tell me.

Officer Maguiriua: Because you’re a nuisance. Seeya.

Dad: Wait! Don’t go!

Officer Maguiriua: Oh by the way, the judges in this town are on my side, I’m good friends with them, and their daughters. They love me. So don’t think you’ll ever be getting out.

Dad: Wait! What can I do to get out!?

Officer Maguiriua: *turns to his partner* This guy just won’t shut up, can you believe it? Told you he was a nuisance. *Just before leaving the visitor room*, “Oh by the way, I had to put your ugly dog down.” Bye nuisance. *Walks away out of the prison.*

Corrections Officer: You’re time up, back to your cell pedophile, and stop pressing your room button, if you keep doing that you won’t even get an hour outside for the day. You hear me pedophile?

Ten days later, the dad is in the judge’s court room:

Judge: Do I need to read your charge aloud?

Dad: No, you’re *feels disgust*, you’re hon… judge.

Judge: How do you plead?

Public Attorney: Just say, “No contest”.

Dad: But if I say that it will ruin my reputation and I’ll lose custody of my daughter. I could get killed once I go back in public and I’ll be on a sex offender list! Everyone says I might as well say I’m guilty!

Public Attorney: It’s your life man, just telling you how to get out of here fastest.

Dad: Not guilty, judge.

Corrections officers: *their faces become angry and amazed*

Judge: Then a trial date is set for the first.

Dad: What?! That’s a month away! No one told me I’d have to wait a month for a trial!

Judge: *Ignores the comment, calls out another name*

Corrections officer: What are you stupid? You’re gonna be eating shit for the next 30 days man!

Dad: What do you mean?

Corrections officer: Stupid! It’s too late for you now man.

Dad: Wait, what do you mean?

Corrections officer: Get in line and stop talking.

Dad: Does anyone know what’s going on?

Inmates: *Avoid eye contact with him*

The next day:

Corrections officer: *Opens the dad’s cell door* Hey, wake up, here’s your charges.

Dad: *Takes the paper* What the Hell, drug possession? I don’t do drugs, I don’t even take aspirin.

Corrections officer: No aspirin? Now that’s an offense.

Dad: Wait, don’t go, how the Hell can all this stuff just get made up?

Corrections officer: Anyone can say anything.

Dad: But wait, that’s exactly what I mean.

Corrections officer: Then why you asking me if you already know?

Dad: Stares at officer.

Corrections officer: You’ll get some slop in thirty minutes, stay awake so I don’t have to wake you up again.

Dad: *Looks back at the paper*. Oh my God, oh my God.