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Atheist Liberals Are a Cult

Welcome to the anti-Church anti-Organized-Religion of Liberalism

Introduction

Liberalism is an anti-church and anti-organized-religion. Liberals have no faith or belief in anything at all and therefore do not judge anyone or make decisions about anything or have any conclusive beliefs about anything and never preach. Rather, we just have random disorganized thoughts, yell at and get depressed and excited and bored at various times and just say random and disorganized stuff. Whatever we do is random and disorganized and chaotic. We randomly worship a flying noodle and meatball monster, Charles Darwin, Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse, Michio Kaku and Stephen Hawking. We don’t command people, unlike that stupid Bible thing that no one has ever heard of or touches, command people to donate or tithe or give money the disabled, needy, helpless widows or the poor, especially those blacks in Africa, or to help them in any way. We however do worship or praise the science-loving Stephen Hawking and deGrasse to show that we love truth and logic and are superior in kindness to those disgusting theists and fundies and organized religious people who don’t think for themselves. Yes, doing so makes us superior and will make us superior. We are also so logic and charitiy loving that we give most of our money to The Grand High Univeristies and Colleges of Liberalism, such as, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Duke, Oxford and many others, so that we are indebted to them forever and become poor and needly slaves ourselves, and wanting everyone including those nasty stupid religious people to feel sorry for us.

Fun: Unlike the detestable and grotesque hordes of theists and religious people who never heard of fun and don’t know how to have fun and don’t know what fun is, we the Liberals know and understand fun and live for fun. We have the Smithsonian Institution, National Geographic, Scientific American, Science Magazine, Discover Magazine, the Discovery Channel, observatories, astronomy and dinosaur museums all over the place, and all of them are super expensive as they should be. We even make money off them. We star at the stars all day and night long and one day we may even inhabit them all. We know the most about stars then anyone else and talk about them all day long. Those crazy astrologers can’t touch us, we are far above them. And the crazy UFO believing people are even dumber than them.

We Liberals invented science and all the useful inventions, religious people had nothing to do with them, they only murdered and destroyed and did these crusade things. In the crusades the religious Christians killed millions of witches and millions of atheists.

We build all the great buildings in the world, like the pyramids, wherever there are pyramids, those were our ideas. We made the Eiffel Tower, we made all the ancient Roman buildings, we even built Babylon. We teach the world about science even though they mostly do not listen. There’s even people so stupid, they believe that the sun goes around the Earth [sic] even though we showed them clearly it doesn’t by taking them into space and showing them that it doesn’t. Yes, we flew them up and sat them in the middle of space and showed them the sun is going around the Earth. We regularly do space tours too to prove that, but no one but us Liberals listen. We proved to the world that there was a giant explosion that happened for a reason we do not know, made of unknown stuff, that exploded billions of years ago. We proved it, but only a few people believe it out of the masses of stupid religious people. We proved that life could come from electrified mud, and we made life that way, but no one but the smart Liberals listen. We proved that the electric mud creatures could turn into other creatures, into fish, fish into monkeys, and monkeys into men, but only the smart Liberals listen. In the Soviet Union, China and Vietnam, we massacred over 100 million people who opposed our beliefs and wouldn’t let us shove it down their throats. And even then, the world still wouldn’t submit to our disOrganization. We even came up with Communism, Socialism, Nationalism, Humanism and Positivism to make them feel better about abandoning their stupid religion – those dumb religious people – but they wouldn’t listen. In America we eventually took control of the highest places, the schools, book stores, libraries, Internet content providers like Yahoo, Answerbag, MSNBC, CNN, banks, news providers and many other places and promised them riches if they would give us there money. We were very successful and impoverished them so that we grew even stronger than them. Sadly, many Liberals apostatized. They are traitors and shun, blacklist from our gatherings, congregations, covens and parties and insult them regularly, especially through our force of mentally ill disorganized Internet trolls.

That is because they are brainwashed with stupid thoughts about morality and religion. They care more about people then science and are all global warming deniers. Yes, they are as bad those Holocaust deniers. They deny climate change, pretending that it never rains one day and is free one rain the next day. They pretend the sun never goes down or comes up. Though we tell them the weather changes, they won’t believe us, that is how stupid those little theists are.

The Sacraments of Liberalism:

Drinking fluoridated and aspartame-filled water
Vaccination with mercury and virus filled vaccines (which exists thanks to our virtual god, Darwin)
Getting rid of things that make carbon (lest the world become filled with more plants for people to eat and they overpopulate so much that we can’t control them as good as we do now, we need to kill most people off, abort them, so we can rebirth the world in a religion free Jesus free random world.)
Destroying some conservative or religious owned business, especially if bribed to do so or out of revenge
Painful baby sacrifices (killing babies before they are born without giving them pain killers first)
Trashing cut up babies in trash bags
Irradiating cancer ridden kids and adults till they hopefully die

Regular anti-church activies:
Watching Discovery Channel dinosaur cartoons and nature shows
Watching PBS
Watching MSNBC
Watching CNN
Reading Skeptic Magazine
Reading Discover Magazine
Reading the New York Times
Watching anime
Playing games
Riding roller coasters
Going to the movies
Vegan food sampling and wine gatherings
Shopping for expensive, silly and useless inventions
Gathering at universities to endorse some liberal point of view
Insulting religious people, UFO believers and creationists
Paying enormous amounts of money to learn at a liberal university
Pretending to be Christians on the Internet and joining Westboro Baptist Church and then acting very stupid to try and convince everyone that Christians are stupid and religion in general
Eating lots of meat
Paying a huge amount of money to exercise in an a gym, though most of us don’t losing much weight and end up fat
Having gay and promiscuous sex
Being random
Caring for dogs, cats and sometimes rats

Conclusion

Just believe us

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