A Feminen Call To Wiccans: My Troubled Thoughts About Planet Gaya (aka also known as “The Earth” and/or just “Mother Earth”)

Well, I’m back from my feminist liberal matriarchical anti-organized religion anti-Ann Coulter pro-population & CFCs reduction birthday party and I’m feeling so refreshed.

First off all, this has been on my mind: Witch is that unlike Christianity, we Wiccans don’t need or have written laws, because we don’t need such things. Second, which is that the world is in trouble, more then usual like how the Christian are starting wars with everyone and killing people as usual, it’s worse now bcuz of the Fukushiman radiation problems, the earthquakes, the suenamis, and, other things which cause problems. Third, my mind is thinking about how to fix these things so that there is peace, comfort and general pleasure for all, except the fundists.

I’ve been studying and trying to stop thinking about Ann Coulter the radioactive bitch who practices radiation bitchcraft, because she is so annoying and thinks she is so hot and laughs way to much, as if there is some comedy going on. I decided Ann Coulter is a blondish idiot, and well, just wrong, unlike Fionna Horny, is, well just hot, and I love her Aussie accent and hope she loves me back one day. But enough about that: I’ve also been thinking about Bill and Belinda Gates (sorry Belinda but ur name is really long and I need time for more blog updates so I’ll just call u “M.”). Okay, what was I just saying, got distracted by something. Oh, ok, so, oh yeah: OVEROPOPULUTION. IT’S BIG, BAD, AND I CAN HARDLY MOVE BCUZ, THERE IS NO MORE SPACE.

Now, oh yeah also radiation is coming from Fukushima, is that spelt righte? And now, holy 2012’s: Japan, where I get my sushi (made with tofu and kelp not the precious fish people which took 34 billion years to evolve to swim!) So, let me make a list bcuz this is getting pretty complex becuz I like to tackle complex situations:

number, one: Overpopulution of people on mother Earth or call it Gaya if you will. Hold on my hard disk has no more space… and awesome Windows by Bill Gates is smart enough to let me know, unlike ew: that geek thing Linux (hello I just want to get on the Internet Linux, make it easy for the smart people not the dumb geek people ugh).

okay im back (had to transfer my illegal torrent downloads to my external hard drive.. Shhhhh! Don’t, tell, th,e copy, rights, policeeeee, pleeeeeease!:

NUMBER TWO: We need to make kids feel more comfortable with the LGBT gay community SO, I suggest we hand them out free abortion coupon X-mas cards or “Happy Holidays” cards so that when they want to have sex after puberty they are prepared and will be thankful to us ALSO we could say hi more like just a wave of the hand to more kids and just shout really fast: LGBT with a smile.

Also, think about wearing LGBT shirts and on the back: Keep YOUR RELIGION out of my science, CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALISTS! Or just put “Fundie” cuz kids will prob not want to read something that long (I know I don’t) and it’s Geeky therefore.

number three: Concerning the recent anger of mother Gaya: Clearly she was upset with the Chillians, for mining in her so deep and she trapped the males down there who couldn’t keep her hands off her, and so she shook shook, shooked up really hard and cause some problems there, THEN according to the historical records in Google, oh wait I forgot India, there was a major earthquake in the Indian sea and a tsunami killed like, omigoddess 100,000+ people (don’t laugh ok), and then the history timeline next said that Hati was struck with devesation, like there was people screaming and people started shooting at each other for food (told u to stop overpopulating Christians, that includes u voodoo people who worship the feminine aspect of Christianity which is Mary, actually the Venus of the Greeks and Romans which came from the, ummmmm, ok number four:

number four: Concerning Eygpt, Google why did you make the people their crazy? They started sexually harassing women and stole your Egyptian artifacts from from the antique stores and museums, and then that guy left, the scientologist MuHasmi New Barrack Obama, president of the pyramids of Cheops, which he found tons of mommies and tombs in the sand. Damn. You shunt have made him mad, now who will guard ur musuems?

number five: We, the feminists, we need to be repayed reparations for the male damages that males have caused throughout the millineums, probably going back to the stone ages when they grabbed our hair and grabbed us and raped like mongerals to force us to have babies HENCE leading to the population explosion we see today, HENCE the carbon dioxide over expansion in the horizons (where stupid fundies think Sky Daddy lives, so lame). OK, MMMMM. SIX:

Six is for sticks, haha. Did you like my Haiku? Okay, enough Chinese poetry, next comes 7:

Seven which Christians (fundie ones) think stands for “perfection” but actually stands for 7, duh. 7th problem is that the world is getting colder due to the heat effect caused by climate change caused by carbon dioxide, overpopulation, run off from the olden day wheat fealds of the old farmers (fundamentalists) which overpopulate with cows and many babies which end up poor and homeless due to the economic situation caused by President Bush and all republicans, comservatives, Shawn Hannity, Rush Assbaugh (haha), Alex Jones (eh, like, crazy and gross? rant much?) and, well, Ann Coulter, who, we now know, is stupid (radiation, good for us, really? STUPID!). So, the point is, of seven, is, that I love Windows 7 and we need to spread it more through torrents till the geek people are crushed, the ones who use gay Ubuntu (sorry to say gay but I’m bi so I can say that) and other stuff made by that geek Linux who loves to give people a hard time with “his software” which I learnt is not even his but belongs to that guy Yunix). And yes, I know, “Bill Gates stole Apple’s computers and ripped them off only to sell it back to them) BUT Apple sucks, I know, because I’ve used it, and Macs too, which is ugh, weird. I mean look, ok: what the hell is “bin”? Does anyone want to open a “bin”? No. Or “hqx”? What’s with the weird ugly letters? Are well Geeks like you Linux? NOPE. So shut up with that stuff, stop, it. No one wants to see those things okay? I prefer zip, rar, and, sometimes I like to see ace because that reminds me of my dog Ace.

Now for eight:

Number eight: 8 stands for infinity and therefore we’re going to talk about the eternal, the infinite (sorry if I sound smart I can’t help it people :(

And, well, so looking into the future we can see the problems of the last seven things I talked about, in which it’s leading up to 2012, when the Mayans predicted were all gunna die or hopefully just become Grand Masters of the Spirit world, so that, we’re no longer gunna have to reincarnate into toads and lizards only to go extinct because of pollutions from fundies who won’t stop growing wheat, farming cows which make meth, it gets into the air, we breath it, and out comes carbon dioxins, which get into the water stream, pollute the rivers and oceans, angering the nature spirits and mother Gaya, leading to more Hell on Earth, shaking of buildings, and when shooken, explode, and release radiation onto the world, killing us all as we deserve, for, I mean as the fundamentalists and hard core organized religions deserve. This, in conlusion, needs a solution. Indeed. I propose we ask Bill and M. Gates (M. is his wife) and unfortunately they had kids, which is understandable tho because of the pressure from fundies, and they need to be relatable to them so that they can convince them to join our side), okay so like I was saying, hence we need to propose a propassal to Bill and M. Gates to donate a huge amount of vaccines to sterilize everyone against birth of more poor and miseryble babies, which end up in the allys and street ways and taking up space we need to shop and eat and drive our beautiful cars (the Ferrari I want is approved by energy star okay, I’ll make sure of that bcuz I’m going to pay my electrical geek friend to make it electric, so don’t get mad okay my friends of the Earth), enough vaccines to cover all the major cities and towns and suburbs of the world, the rurral areas included (the southerners of the Baptist Belt which live in that area in other words), so that, okay my mom just said I need to start a new paragraph:

Well. I was saying, let’s donate to Bill and M. Gates’ Foundation so that they can donate sterilent vaccines back to us, to immunize us against babies and the trouble they bring, like poop, carbon dioxides, and, possibly germs, being that babies like to make a mess, and that can lead to epidemnics like aids, which is a killer and not to be joked about. Also, we can pay them to donate free condmons on the street corners so as not to embarass anyone, and hand them out in the classrooms during sex education, and that can protect us from HIV and estidees, the worst plague of them alls.

ELLEVEN: Why do we not all take Bill and M. Gates idea to build those nuclear reacters they invented that make radiation that can be turned back into energy instead of the Fumisha kind which is going to kill tens of millions of people for the next 34 billion years no thanks to them and the pro-nuclear groups, the ones that hate Bill and M. Gates that is? Stupid much? Yes. Coal is a killer people, and we need to live Gaya’s black blood of the Earth as the Chinese call it, alone, we’re bleeding her to death and that’s pissing her off (pardon my French language), and in fact she is running out of pea (known, (in our reality) as rivers and streams and creaks) from which the fish “derive” their “sustenence”.

TEN: For ten I say lets get this done people, don’t be negative Nelees like the fundists, instead, think positivity, be positiviests, not Bible bashers who want to force their fundisms down your throat to force us to be mindless bashers of big boring old books with tons of boring and mean words like them, and don’t let the repubicans, conartist CON-servatives, or the anti-drug police stop you. Obama and Change for ever! WINNING!

And so now, we are liberated: Praise the Goddess and Mother Gaya (not the flying sphettegti and meatball monster of the sky). Rahmen.

Shout outs: Ferrari of Italy, I’m plugging you with this so please, can you donate a car to me, one of the ones that u make at least? Hillery Clinton: You go girl. Bill and M. Gates: please, more donations to free us from overcrowds and masses of Asians and Africans and yes: White fundamtenatlists too. And of course: Ace my dog and Mindy who makes my designer hemp-cotton bras, which double as a purse. Also I love Johnny Depp, Just Beiber, somehwat Miley Cyrus bcuz she’s learned to rebel against the oppresive fundists, and experience the joys of pro-marijuana living, and secretly stripping down to bare minimums in malls with her girlfriends. Oh yeah Lady Gaga for her tremendous work in the music industry pushing it forward to new hites and for letting children know they can sing, even asian ones, even if you’re from the filipines.

Well, so, remember not to work hard and read so much people, live your lives free and look into the future for hope, it’s where there will be no children to bog us down with their problems, ugh, we have enough as it is already, and in the past, which formerly was once now, but passed on into the back of us, so is not behind the times. Clearly. Obviously. Simple as that.

Oh yeah, I was told google “isn’t the only search engine in existence u dumb bitch” (u really DID NOT need to call me a bitch, let alone dumb, or even together with “dumb bitch”, I am, intelligent). So this rude person, jerk, let me know about this thing called Bing. Which, rhymes if you hadn’t noticed with thing, my favorite word. So, to make friends with Bing and not just Google, which actually is a word I don’t even like because it reminds me of goo, which is gross, and babies who say “gah gah”), to make friends with the other guy I am now giving it keywords, just ignore it bcuz it’s not meant for people to read:

Hi Bing programmer: my keywords for you: Ann Coulter, bitch, crack whore, massive propinganda media whore, Bill Oreally is an upset idiot who yells at anyone who doesn’t buy into “his beliefs”, Facebook Whorebocker is insanely rich, Facebook Whorebocker is hot, Facebook Whorebocker has a perfect butt better than that girl that was on every magazine and Internet site for a long time, Facebook Whorebocker progressive professional liberal jounralist and blogger, India Times, UK Times, Daily Beast, Daily Nation, Wiccan News, the future, stop having kids, kids + overpopulation is bad for Gaya and the LGBT community is helping out with that. Fundies stole my dog Ace once but I got him back from them, because it was kids and I could outrun them with my long beautiful feminine hairless legs, most beautiful legs and bottom in the world what site can I find that on? … End program.

Hah, I learned my progressing skills from Tron Legacy which was the movie about glowing game freaks and isos in innerspace, which damn, just wanted to be free to play games, but this red and black jerk (not a black person though), like Darth Vader, prob was his dad (he wasn’t black either, oops I’m going off topic again my mom just told me, {{{{sorry}}}} okay: not my fault, lost my meds again). I also read about Cplusplus, but, it wasn’t needed in this situation. I’m a multiskilled female as you can see. Hey am I the only one who likes Swiss Cheese?

Ok, where where we were? Well, so, it’s not hard to get people: follow the list of suggestins and, as your moms have told you, witch you ignore: brush your teeth, with fluoride, wash your face and hands before u eat, take showers every day, wear trendy upbeat clothing so u dont get banned from gas stations, and just remember in the future, when the time comes for concentrating on sex and other important things in life, which is possibly ending in 2012, sorry.

Let’s put an end to the nasty pollution people and all the literers (i seriously do not like literers ok, paper and plates and beer bottles do not belong on the ground u stupid polluters, stop being lazy u stupid impolite rude freeks).

A parting Haiku rhyme for you all:

Parties, they are fun,
thing, bahbing,
just kidding,
sing,
ming,
chaching
Haiku,
I love you.
Goodbye,
you guys.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{love and peace to all (the who aren’t apart of the organized religions and patriarchies that is}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hey… I just thought of a good way to discredit Miss Coulter: whenever she goes outside hold up your iphones and record her and eventually she’ll have to pick her nose bcuz she’s alwys out in public since shes a attention hore and then jus uploaded to Youtube and no will ever talk to her again. Hah, yaaaaaaay.

Remember people: Harm ye none but do what u want! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! YES YES YES! *Cheers*

bi!