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Godzilla To Stomp Against PM Naoto


Godzilla To Run Against Japan PM
by Ueto Aya of the Tokyo Daily Sun Times Herald Chronicles
3/21/2011

Tokyo — Godzilla emerged from the sea today and held a press conference with what was left of the Japanese media.

Reporter Matsumoto: Why did you emerge now, and what were you doing under the sea, huh!?

Gzilla: I was sleeping when my head was repeatedly struck by the ground, and after a few days I couldn’t take it anymore and finally decided to get up, and well, now I’m here.

Reporter Matsumoto: Okay, soundz good, hi!

Gzilla: (Points to a beautiful Japanese woman who is jumping up and down a little while raising her hand high). Yes? Sheila.

Reporter Sheila: In what way do you think you would be a better choice than our current leader?

Gzilla: Well, for one, I wouldn’t wait days to let you know that you’re going to die from mass radiation poisoning, and just leave you to play guessing games on your own. Also, I have the ability to neutralize radiation with my breath, especially when struck with lightning on my spine.

Reporter Sheila: Oh Zreally? Oh wowah. How duz thiz work?

Gzilla: Hmmm. Ask God.

Reporter Sheila: Oh, hee, oh kay. I hope you win.

Gzilla: Thanks. Kakuhutsomuhomitimi?

Reporter Kaku: Hah. Kaku is fine. Some of us are afraid that you will do even more damage, like last few times you stomped on many buildings in got into many fights, like with giant moth and many headed dragon and etc. What say you!

Gzilla: No need to yell. Well we all have enemies, you know?

Repoter Kaku: Yes okay, but what about the stomping?

GZilla: Oh, well, I can live off shore.

Reporter Kaku: Oh okay that is gud.

Gzilla: Yes, you in the blue suit.

Prime Minster of Japan: What do you say to those millions of Japanese who say you are making a cheap shot and hitting the Prime Minister well he’s at his lowest point. And that you are a pretentious grand stander who needs to get a job already instead of trying to take someone elses!

Gzilla: Wow. Do you have a press pass? Anyways, I didn’t know millions were saying I was making any cheap shots and so on. We’ll see what happens when I run against the PM, see who people would rather have: me, who stomps a few buildings now and then, and gets into awesome fights, and no one even dies, or the PM, who allowed little Japanese kids for years to go to school near naked in the cold, allowing extreme bullying of kids to the point where many have committed suicide, and then harassment of their parents afterwards, and keeping the kids and adults from learning about or remembering Japan’s shameful history, and how the Japanese military massacred the Chinese, and left the sick ones they infected with horrible bacteria without remedy, and who allows moronic groups of people to go around in vans in the streets of Japan blasting citizens’ ears off with idiotic absurd propaganda which is that Japan is perfectly nice and never does anything wrong, oppressing the Burakumin, Ainu, for years, and, who allowed terrible nuclear power plants to be built on the coast lines near earthquake zones and when one of them exploded multiple times, and afterwards, well… well, we already know about that little secret don’t we?

PM: You giant green zon of a beetch! I will kill you with my ancient Samurai sword, forged in a volcano from Hell! Damn you!

Gzilla: Yeah right and grass is growing on the sun, and giant radioactive cows are living there and going, “Mmmm mmm this grass is so gooood moooo.” And like Japanese PMs would really allow nuclear reactors filled with spent fuel rods to operate off the coast of a major earthquake zone for years and years and after they explode acting like nothing much has happened… oh wait.

PM: You! You!

Reporter Sheila: (Jumps up and down) Hey hey, Mr. G!

Gzilla: Yes, Sheila again? Did I mention your hair is very beautiful? I so love Japanese women. :)

PM: Dis is no time for joking! The emporer will hill of yoh insolence! You arah exploiting the pain and suffering of Japan!

Gzilla: Don’t be rude blue suit guy, it’s Sheila’s turn now.

PM: You, you, God damn you! You are taking advantage of the situation!

Gzilla: Can someone please escort this rude man out?

Reporter Sheila: (Jumps up and down with her hand raised high), I will! I will!

PM: Hey! Young hussy! What do you think you are doing? Get your hands off me!

Reporter Sheila: Hee hee!

Prime Minister: Godzilla you sun of a bitch!

Gzilla: Actually a giant space lizard mutated by cosmic radiation, not the kind that you let kill your people.

Prime Minster of Japan: You, you, God damn you! You are taking advantage of the situation!

Gzilla: Can someone please escort this rude man out?

Reporter Shiela: (Jumps up and down with her hand raised high), I will! I will!

About 10 minutes later Godzilla’s press manager let the press know that he had to go recharge himself and needed to wash off the excess radiation, and the crowd let out a frustrated, “awwww”. However they began to talk fervently among each other about the prospects of a new giant green reptilian leader with many odd random powers and how he might one day make Japan an even greater tourist attraction more than it super ever was.

Post link: gzilla.tk

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